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Joke of the Day

"How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating? If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic druggie lawyer who just finished rehab? He's already started suing again."

"I can already hear the birds judging me for sleeping till noon tomorrow."

"My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex. We laughed and laughed Then i remembered that my wife and I had different dentists."

"Asked my toddler if she'd work on being more careful when eating in her car seat. Her response was an immediate ""No."" At least she's honest."

"Why do college students already get up at 7? Because the supermarket closes at 7:30"

"How much liquid can Monica Lewinskys mouth hold? One U.S. Liter"

"What's the difference between a musician and a dead body? One composes, the other decomposes..."

"How do ghosts like their chicken cooked? Terri-fried!"

"People in Dubai don't like The Flintstones. But people in ABU DHABI DO!"