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Joke of the Day

"Safe sex is stupid. Safes can't get pregnant."

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"Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout Boy scouts come home from camp"
"A friend told me that all apples were yellow... I was like, ""that's bananas"""
"What would Voldemort name his pet tortoise ? Voldetort."
"If every time I didn't have something nice to say, I didn't say it at all, people would think I was a mute."
"What did Hitler eat for breakfast? Luftwaffes"
"5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe."
"Are you all right ? No, you are all left"
"My friend told his girlfriend that he wants lots of children It's pretty messed up how excited she got about dating a pedophile."
"I only sleep with my laptop so that if I ever get a boyfriend I'll be used to sharing the bed"