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Joke of the Day

"A crazy looking girl threatened to punch me because I kept playing Taylor Swift on the Jukebox. I knew she was Trouble when she walked in."

"If our children don't learn cursive, how will they ever be able to read those inspirational tattoos people put on their ribs?"

"[tries to eject CD 5 mins into space mission] Houston we have a problem I KNOW U CHEATED W/MY WIFE TOM ENJOY 12 YRS OF SMASH MOUTH U PRICK"

"Today my girlfriend offered to finger me I was deeply touched."

"How do you know an r/jokes mod is a cyberman? [deleted]"

"Baltimore Ravens go low carb Baltimore ravens go low carb and cut Rice. (I will see myself out)"

"What's the difference between a dead prostitute and a dead German midget? A tiny pair of lederhosen on your basement floor."

"My computer has been running slow lately... I tried restoring the computer and still no luck. I finally decided to paint the computer black and it ran so much faster."

"There is no ""we"" in pizza"

"My arm is asleep. Let's draw mustaches on it."