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Joke of the Day

"If our children don't learn cursive, how will they ever be able to read those inspirational tattoos people put on their ribs?"

"A couple of my friends tried to steal a statue last night... But it turned out to be a bust."

"What do math and mermaids have in common? They both have an alge-bra."

"*flags down police car* how many mpg does this thing get?"

"Did you hear about the granny who plugged her electric blanket into the toaster by mistake? She spent the night popping out of bed."

"What do you call a Muslim optometrist who has no regards for his patients? Asif Eyecare"

"What do worms and women have in common They both wiggle when you eat them."

"Miley Cyrus is a strictly american phenomenon... most everywhere else in the world, she'd be Kilometery Cyrus"

"Pickup line: ""Hey girl, is your dad in jail?"" Because if I were him, I would be."

"""Try again, dumbass"" - the little red line under your misspelled word"