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Joke of the Day

"How does Jack Frost get to work? By icicles"

"The other day I stayed in a very swanky hotel ... ... I had to shave before they let me go in their barbershop."

"Being an adult means never having to show your work on a math problem. It's as awesome as it sounds, kids."

"What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Obama? A CORNservative."

"what does a frozen beer, burnt pizza, and pregnant girl all have in common? they all happened because some dumbass didn't pull it out in time."

"I can't wait till next years veterans day: for the ones that didn't get captured...."

"I'm worried about my friend My friend has just be diagnosed as a Polaroid Schizophrenic. It developed quickly."

"I like guys marrying my sister like I like my pinata coladas Full of rum! (Currently attempting to write a best man speech for my soon to be brother in law)"

"I came last in a karate competition yesterday I was kicking myself!"

"WAITER: Would you like any dessert? DATE: No, just the ch- ME: CHEESECAKE. Just the cheesecake."