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Joke of the Day

"I came last in a karate competition yesterday I was kicking myself!"

"What's Wolverine's favorite candy bar? SNIKTERS"

"My VW Beetle can't deliver when I want a ""GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY"" honk. It's all, ""Hi! Let's get a latte after you move just a smidge!"""

"But do you know what 6.9 is? A good thing screwed up by a period."

"This is ridiculous: ""www"" contains THREE TIMES more syllables than the phrase it is 'short' for, ""world wide web."""

"For our first date, we'll dump a Crayola 64 box onto the floor, and put them back from worst to favorite."

"Before drinking an ""energy drink"", pause to consider this: How are you going to use that extra energy to better serve Christ?"

"HR: welcome to sexual harassment training. Me *raises hand* I'm gonna leave. HR: it's mandatory. Me: There's nobody here I would harass."

"Someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds Poor bastard."

"I don't have a vagina, but I'm pretty sure sex feels a lot like cleaning your ear out with a Q-tip."