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Joke of the Day

"I like guys marrying my sister like I like my pinata coladas Full of rum! (Currently attempting to write a best man speech for my soon to be brother in law)"

"Why did the baker have stinky hands? He kneaded a poo"

"I was doing a Maths exam yesterday. I looked up to find the lad at the next desk staring at me. I said, ""What the fuck's your problem?"" He said, ""The square root of 144."""

"Other people's umbrellas are more annoying than other people's kids because umbrellas never say anything darnedest at all."

"What do they do with Tickle-Me-Elmo's before he leaves the factory? Give him a couple of test-tickles."

"What does a bee style his hair with? A honey comb!"

"Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?"

"There's nothing like shaving off your beard to remind everybody why your face needed a beard."

"I know the secret to leaving a casino with a small fortune Walk in with a big fortune. Happy new year"

"How do you make cultured milk? You take it to the Moo-seum. I know this joke is terrible, but I totally came up with it on my own, but I'm sure it exists already."