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Joke of the Day

"What's black and white and turns cartwheels? A piebald horse pulling a cart!"

"How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? YOU DON'T KNOW MAN!!!! YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!"

"I met Michael J Fox yesterday... I was going to shake his hand but remembered it does that on its own."

"My (black) coworkers informed me that black people can't get lice? ""You know what else they can't get? Good jobs."" I received a write-up :("

"Why do French warships have glass bottoms? So that they can see the rest of their fleet."

"LPT: Reproduce"

"Why should you distrust atoms? Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos."

"Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids? He can't get to 3rd base"

"[Blazing hot day] Don't forget to take a jacket, it might get cold. ~ My mom."

"I just caught an alien maturbating in my freezer. He looked up at me and said, ""I cum in peas"""