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Joke of the Day

"I just caught an alien maturbating in my freezer. He looked up at me and said, ""I cum in peas"""

"I was going to make a joke about a broken pencil... but it would be pointless."

"Some people think it's difficult to live with Erectile Dysfunction But really, it's not that hard."

"Why did the Baker have brown hands? Because he kneaded a poo."

"Whenever someone says, ""It's getting hot in here"" I automatically think, ""So take off all your clothes."

"My best dating advice is to wait after you have two kids and a house before you tell her you speak elvish."

"Kum & go Ejaculate & evacuate"

"What do you call a train with no motivation A Loco-no-motive"

"How's your Mom's cherry pie taste? Meh.. It's Oedipal"

"Weddings r cool bc u can cry in public about other stuff as long as u look in the general direction of the bride + groom"