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Joke of the Day

"The distance this fish swam... Is a SCALER not a vector."

"A guy goes to a crowded party and wants to get a drink from the hors d'oeuvres table. Surprisingly, there is no punch line."

"What's the difference between a Lentil and a Chickpea? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a Lentil on my face."

"What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice? Neck-romance-y."

"What does a blender full of dead babies sound like? I dunno, I was too busy masturbating..."

"Teach a man to fish & you have fed him for a lifetime. Teach your kid to make a good martini & you won't give a crap about fish or men."

"Kobe Bryant's Wife filing for divorce. I bet somewhere right now Kim Kardashian is plotting.."

"My wife and I made a vow to never go to bed angry. I'm so fucking tired!"

"I just found out the mods' password! [removed]"

"Why is ISIS like Little Miss Muffet? They both have Kurds in their way."