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Joke of the Day
"Why is ISIS like Little Miss Muffet? They both have Kurds in their way."
Next Joke
"Me: I said no cookies! 4yo: I forgot. Maybe I have amnesia! Me: How'd you get amnesia? 4yo:.. Me:.. 4yo: I don't remember. Me: Well played.."
"I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist."
"Happy New Year everyone....and may your worries this year last no longer than a Kardashian marriage ."
"""Voop voop voop voop voop voop voop voop voop."" -corduroys"
"What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor."
"In the middle of a really messy divorce, I decided suicide was the only option. I just need to talk her into it now."
"When is it ladyparts-grabbing time for Donald Trump? When the little hand is on the 10."
"My mom is the queen of cheesy jokes and her favorite: "" what do you call a deer with no eyes?"" "" no idear"""
"Being a courteous dinner guest, I always offer to do the dishes. I'm not the one who's going to eat off them next. Quick rinse works for me."