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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes, Whack! Damn! And a skydiver go Damn! Whack!"

"If I've learnt anything from Zombie movies it's that people meat is pretty damn stringy."

"FUN PRANK: Put a bike lock on a bike that already has a lock. Leave the owner a note saying you guys share joint custody of the bike now"

"Many people think a pirates favourite letter is R. It's actually the C"

"I do the pee pee dance anytime I hear running water just like any other human."

"When life tosses me a football, I'm the ref who's not looking and everyone laughs when I get booped in the face"

"You know you've been friendzoned if a girl adds you as her brother on Facebook."

"Hey babe i wanted to marry you but i had to ask your dad first and he said yes so i guess i'm marrying your dad"

"What is brown and sticky? A brown stick. Bonus: what's red and fluffy? Red fluff."

"A recent study has linked alcohol to the risk of stroke in women... but i got a dick so lets drink!"