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Joke of the Day

"Cowboy: GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE. CASHIER: DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG WITH THAT SIR? Cowboy: NAH... SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY!! http://imgur.com/2TKdb"

"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, you will pay. You have my Word."

"What did the ocean ask the scooba diver? Water you doing here?"

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. Give a man a monthly subscription of fish delivery right to his home, profit."

"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly want to be late for work today either but it's not like hot wings can shave themselves out of chest hair."

"Why is the mushroom so happy ? Because he's a FUN-GUY :P"

"It is not a middle finger It is my unicorn fist"

"Where do you shop for a pregnant cow? The Mooternity Section."

"I swear to God guys.. OP is not a faggot"

"Professor: ""Did you just show up drunk to my exam?"" No way ""Hungover then?"" Nope ""There's a lime wedge on your face"""