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Joke of the Day

"How many rappers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two!.......pac. ^(*It's a lot better spoken than written.*)"

"Deer nuts and beer nuts What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a buck fifty and deer nuts are under a buck."

"Next week I have an MRI scheduled to find out whether or not I have claustrophobia."

"When you talk to ghosts, they always tell the truth. When you speak with them, they're really transparent."

"What do you get when you put semen in a bat? Abasement."

"If CERN's Large Hadron Collider creates a black hole that destroys earth would that make it a weapon of math destruction?"

"I take it personally when the UPS guy drops off a package for my neighbors but doesn't bring me one."

"ME: If home is where the heart is, I guess I live under a canopy of bloody bones. DMV WORKER: I'm not putting that on your license."

"What does weed and the Quran have in common? If you burn it you get stoned"

"How do you tell a domesticated cat from a wild one? The domesticated doesnt have balls"