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Joke of the Day

"When you talk to ghosts, they always tell the truth. When you speak with them, they're really transparent."

"I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta, It is now a Ford Focus. I can't claim credit for this one, I heard it on one of my favorite streamers' streams."

"I have no home. I've got no control. There's no escape. I should probably look into getting a new keyboard."

"A blonde was attempting to swim across the English channel. But she got tired halfway, and swam back."

"Beer nuts are so dang expensive... ...luckily deer nuts are just under a buck."

"I don't see why so many Americans are anti-gay rights. For a country with 4 dads, you would think they'd be more accepting."

"So there I was... ...balls deep in a man's ass. He turns around and asks ""Hey, can I have a reach-around?"" So I asked, ""What are you, gay?"""

"The time between the nurse leaving the room and the doctor entering is for exploring and trying out as many tools as possible"

"Why couldn't the alligator satisfy his lover? He had a reptile dysfunction."

"Dad told me this one tonight... Whats the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? A Hippo weighs a ton.. And a Zippo is a little lighter."