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Joke of the Day

"""It's very expensive."" - Chipotle employee ""Look, I got money to spend in here."" - Julia Roberts Pretty Woman 2: Guacamole Costs Extra"

"I had diarrhea and had some jalapeno sauce That came out badly"

"What does DNA stand for? the National Dyslexic Association"

"I'll never forget the cooking time for my supermarket brand spaghetti... 9-11 minutes"

"Q: What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce you get rid of the whole prick!"

"I asked a Jewish girl for her number... She rolled up her sleeve"

"MOM ITS NOT A DOLLHOUSE IM PRETENDING TO BE A GIANTE THATS TERRORIZING A FAMILY GOSH *waits for mom to leave* and im makig them have tea"

"Did you hear about the new wine that the Taliban is selling in the US to help fund its war efforts? They call it ""White Infidel."""

"""Here's the problem... You've got a Pokemon up there"" - me, as a proctologist"

"Why did Chandler play the blues as loud as he could? He wanted to harm monica."