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Joke of the Day
"I asked a Jewish girl for her number... She rolled up her sleeve"
Next Joke
"Samsung Galaxy S7 slogan: Rethink what a phone can do. To be fair, they didn't disappoint."
"i may look like im listening to music but really i have my volume on 0 and im listening to everyones conversations because im a true spy kid"
"How many men from the US swim team does it take to open a door? Just one if its lochte'd"
"Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months."
"Me: I won't make it. Go on without me. Her: It's a toe cramp M: But I'm covered in some kind of clear blood H: That's sweat M: Tell my story"
"Have you seen my cat? I saw a poster today, somebody was asking ""Have you seen my cat?"" So I called the number and said that I hadn't . I like to help where I can."
"What do you call a person who knows 3 languages? Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages? Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language? American."
"When she screams ""deeper!""... But you're all out of poems."
"The Simpsons need to have an episode where Arsenal win the Champions League"