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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a famous book by Dickens and a woman who buys fake boobs? One is a Tale of Two Cities..."

"So I harvested my tomato today, it's bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it."

"Me: Good night, moon. [30 mins later] Moon: I thought you went to bed. I saw you favorite that tweet. Why aren't you reading my messages?"

"What do pedophile sex-tourists and napalm have in common? They can both strip a Vietnamese orphan in under a minute."

"I laughed at a lot of the posts here on Reddit. They /r/jokes."

"If pharmaceutical companies have taught me anything, they've taught me that people with life threatening illnesses love to hike."

"The Flintstones becomes an entirely different show when you consider Fred & Barney probably weren't wearing underwear."

"What do you call an Asian gold digger? Cha Ching"

"There are 25 different kinds of Lunchables and they all taste like a single parent home."

"Kissing the back of someone's neck is a sensuous thing to do. Unless it's a stranger in a queue in Primark."