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Joke of the Day

"What do pedophile sex-tourists and napalm have in common? They can both strip a Vietnamese orphan in under a minute."

"No internet for 11 hours. I've written two novels, lost 15 pounds, and forgotten how to pronnounce ""gif."""

"You know those old movies with Jackie Chan where he is reluctant to fight in the beginning, but then he warms up starts swinging like there is no tomorrow?! ... I'm the same way with drinking."

"Reddit creates a joke. Ill start with one word and comment to create a joke in order. One"

"After watching Interstellar, I really want to buy a Lincoln."

"What kind of a fish do you always find on a beach? A dead one... "

"What did Jesse say to Woody when they were having a threesome with Buzz Lightyear? You've got a friend in me"

"Girls, I think it was Thomas Jefferson who once said; ""Never put off for tomorrow, when you can put out today."""

"What's the best part about having a dog lick peanut butter off your balls? Finishing."

"Why gypsies boys let their mustache to grow? To look more like their mom."