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Joke of the Day

"Two of Trump's wives have been immigrants. Which just goes to show you that those people will take jobs that no American wants."

"My three year old son, Basil, says that since none of us invented language we should stop appropriating words."

"Somebody once told me in the middle of a huge machine gun battle that I always emphasize the boring parts of anecdotes, which made me sad."

"What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ ;)"

"SpaceX won't be drinking Champagne tonight. Every time they pop the cork it ends up back where it started..."

"What do you call a robot with bad breath who's sister lives on its foot? HAL-i-toe-sis"

"Who will put chick sexers out of business? broosters"

"us teens are tired of being murdered all the time in movies. why not make the next murder victim a chimp in a suit or a plant"

"If you're a girl and you get a ticket for going 5-10 over the speed limit, you might want to think about plastic surgery."

"What do you call a Mexican with bullet wounds? Spicoli"