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Joke of the Day
"I need constant reassurance, right?"
Next Joke
"I was on a date with a girl at the cinema. We both put our hands into the popcorn at the same time, so to make it less awkward, I said, ""Don't worry, that's not the one I masturbate with."""
"Some people can't stand being in a wheelchair"
"How many Donald Trumps does it take to screw a light bulb I don't know but to screw a country it only takes one"
"For all the English lovers... The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense."
"This hot girl ""punched""me in the dick this afternoon She only gently touched it, but it's all swollen up now :/"
"Just another day grabbing random children by the shoulders and screaming ""I'M YOU FROM THE ""FUTURE!"" in their faces.."
"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny."
"To catch a grandpa, you must THINK like a grandpa *eats butterscotch candy, clicks on obvious spam email*"
"KID: *falls out of tree* I'm fine ADULT: *sleeps on neck a little strangely* I have to turn my whole body to look at you for the next week"