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Joke of the Day

"""Lord, can I have a pony?"" Sure. Just as soon as I get a prayer from a pony asking for a little girl with no clue how to take care of it."

"A poor virgin had a big black guy as a landlord Now he's just poor."

"""I love the fall!"" - girls who are happy they don't have to suck in their stomach in pictures anymore"

"on star trek every time they beam down to a new planet they get their tricorders out to find somewhere to go on yelp"

"Why did Samsung make the Galaxy Note 7 waterproof? It can't catch fire underwater... I think."

"I suddenly met a man who had a problem with premature ejaculation. He just came out of nowhere."

"I can't wait for the next Oscars dead-person montage when all the celebs Joan Rivers insulted have to applaud her."

"if your brain produces saliva you have a patooey-tary gland thank you"

"Sorry girls, I'm no Bruno Mars, I won't catch a grenade for you. In fact, if such situation ever happened, I'd use you as a human shield."

"How many straight men in california does it take to change a lightbulb? both of them"