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Joke of the Day

"What's white on top and black on the bottom? A: Society."

"What the difference between an IS training camp and a primary school? There aren't many paedos in the camp."

"I like to make intense direct eye contact with the person in the vehicle next to me at a stop light while I pick my nose."

"My son has about 12 seconds to learn patience."

"Pulling pants up high to conceal a big belly is like a comb-over for the gut."

"What personal question is not obvious yet nobody has ever needed to ask anyone? Are you vegan?"

"I wasn't going to get a brain transplant But then I changed my mind"

"[Jesus at Last Supper] *breaks bread* This is my body *pours wine* This is my blood *opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there"

"I've been driving with a coca cola can stuck in snow on the roof of my car for a week cuz 7 thinks it makes us cops. Stare all you want."

"[nervously speeding up as I drive my date past a Taco Bell] SIRI: At frequent destination. Set this address as 'Home' address?"