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Joke of the Day

"What personal question is not obvious yet nobody has ever needed to ask anyone? Are you vegan?"

"Relationship status: I'm seeing several women in my neighbourhood. *wipes binoculars*"

"I decided to have a can of soup for lunch today... ...And hating to see good food go to waste, I decided to have the soup as well."

"Why do they call it a ""shit-eating grin""? I don't think I'd be smiling if I was eating shit."

"I was 3 yrs old when my mom was diagnosed with my brother."

"I told my neighbor with a cute daughter this joke today and it's killing him. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at 'C'"

"What does a zen ghost say? Boo, duh..."

"I hope all goes well with Princess Kate's baby delivery.., ...but I think it might turn out to be a royal pain in the ass."

"Did you know that there is a little lonely man inside automatic towel dispensers that gives you a towel because he's happy you waved to him?"

"Why couldn't I run the Compressed File? I was missing the important Bits."