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Joke of the Day

"The Band ACDC was Arrested For Firearm Possession... They told the officer they only Shoot to Thrill"

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? ........to get to the other side"

"Scientists have looked into claims of widespread mansplaining... Turns out it's usually just an ovaryaction."

"Life is like a roller coaster: There are ups & downs, you often feel like vomiting, but in the end there are weird pictures of you for sale."

"You know you're old when... ...what were we talking about?"

"The Queen doesn't like to speak about the paedophiles in her court... They're all touchy subjects."

"Be yourself; everyone else is already Batman."

"The hurricane coming in is called Joaquin. When it leaves, does it Joaqout?"

"An Irishman walks out of a pub. ..."

"Did you hear about the guy who used the door knocker? He won a no bell prize. I'm sorry if this is a repost. I searched but couldn't find anything close."