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Joke of the Day

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? ........to get to the other side"

"Heard about the two guys who stole a calendar? They both got 6 months"

"I once thought I had an Asian friend Turns out it was just my imaginasian"

"The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. ""For whosoever we are about to eat may the Lord make us truly thankful."""

"Hey guys I need some help. My assignment's asking how would humans function without their brain. I can't think of anything..."

"What's common between a crying baby and a gun? You must not bring either to the movies."

"Remember when you were young and everything was new and you were filled with optimism and hope? Anyway here's a new thing to buy from Apple."

"Knock Knock ""Who's There?"" ""Dwayne."" ""Dwayne who?"" ""Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!"""

"What do you call a woman who will sleep with absolutely anybody? Public storage."

"Why does Bob Seger always laugh when he plays chess? He thinks it's funny how the Knight moves."