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Joke of the Day

"A drunk man's reasoning; ""What the hell, she's only ugly in the face"""

"I can't wait until Twitter gives you the option to block yourself. I say some real dumb shit on here and I shouldn't have to deal with it."

"Halloween Joke Thread Share your best Halloween jokes here, reposts and all. Maybe this will help with the sub being overrun with the same thing?"

"What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan."

"I totally understand how batteries feel... ...because I'm rarely ever included in things either."

"Mario: I killed all your turtle troops.Bowser: Turtle what?Mario: All the turtles that work for you.Bowser: What turtles?Mario: Uh oh..."

"A lot of things can be preserved in alcohol. My dignity is not one of them."

"Why did the recruiters at the teacher's college have so much sex? They were good at getting people into BEd."

"I try to teach my mom something new everyday. Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes."

"What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Neville Chamberlain? Neville Chamberlain takes a weekend in the country. Adolf Hitler takes a country in the weekend. (First told circa 1938)"