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Joke of the Day
"I try to teach my mom something new everyday. Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes."
Next Joke
"My kids think all food includes long, dark hairs as standard."
"I was so depressed dat my ATM displayed someone else's balance to cheer me up"
"What drinking game is Hillary Clinton best at? Flip Cup (coin)"
"Doctor Doctor I keep seeing an insect spinning around. Don't worry it's just a bug that's going around !doc"
"What's the biggest advantage of being a smoker? Not having to set aside money for your old age."
"Imagine my surprise at the school Thanksgiving ""costume"" party, when I showed up as Poison Ivy and everyone else was dressed as pilgrims."
"Me: Sorry I got drunk and ate all the bacon. Wife: You ate Beggin' Strips. *me to the dog* Sorry I got drunk and ate all of your bacon."
"I love how people act like they don't want to be followed in the street yet they keep looking back at you to see if you're still there."
"Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from the neighbours house is genius."