201844

Joke of the Day

"I totally understand how batteries feel... ...because I'm rarely ever included in things either."

"If I'm ever arrested, I would use my one phone call for pizza."

"You know what's addictive? Heroin"

"If I ever win the lottery, I'm going to share it with everyone. Not the money, just going to let you know that I've won."

"Girls say I'm an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours in a row."

"Me: Who could that be? It's 2:00 in the morning. Her: I don't know. Do burglars knock? Me: It depends on how they were raised..."

"I'm as bored as a slut on her period."

"Three dyslexic girls walk into a bra... And if life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic yourself."

"What do you mean dinosaurs didn't have titties?! *throws my camera on the ground and causes a scene as I leave the museum *"

"wise man jokes?"