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Joke of the Day

"I keep misreading ISS as ISIS... ...so I was very confused when we were sending ISIS The Martian"

"I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don't cross the country and are back home in a few hours."

"I'm at my most brilliant when the door says ""pull"" and I don't believe it."

"What kind of bees make milk? boo-bees"

"What do you call a German outkast? Hey, ja!"

"How does Bob Marley like his donuts? With jammin'."

"As I read my son's suicide letter, I couldn't help but feel that I had failed him as a parent.... His grammar and spelling were terrible."

"Can I get some of you to sign my Medium open letter ""Hello rude teens, I don't know what memes are but stop doing memes at me!!!""?"

"Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!"

"Him: Hey, you really think that doing all those shots are going to make you forget that you got fired? Me: I got fired?"