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Joke of the Day

"As I read my son's suicide letter, I couldn't help but feel that I had failed him as a parent.... His grammar and spelling were terrible."

"I was thinking of joining the Hug-A-Cactus foundation but I hear they deal with alot of pricks."

"I think I might stop cussing and get all religious and shit"

"What's the difference between a dead hooker and a Ferrari? I didn't lose my virginity to a Ferrari."

"What do you get if you cross a salmon a bird's leg and a hand ? Birdsthigh fish fingers !"

"[NSFW] How can you tell if your girlfriend is too young? You have to make aeroplane noises to get your cock in her mouth!"

"The baby fell on the floor at breakfast this morning. Luckily, she landed butter side up, so the five second rule still applied."

"Giving a woman an orgasm is like riding a bicycle. I always feel silly wearing a helmet."

"Why did the Catholic cross herself?"

"Why are octopuses so dangerous? Because they TENTACLE."