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Joke of the Day

"Can I get some of you to sign my Medium open letter ""Hello rude teens, I don't know what memes are but stop doing memes at me!!!""?"

"My new Thai girlfriend said, ""A small penis shouldn't be a problem in a loving relationship"" I still wish she didn't have one."

"A street preacher told me that gays cause floods, & my first reaction was to call my friend Ben & ask him what other rad shit he could do"

"What do you call a Starving German Woman Faminenazi"

"My dad just told me I should ""stop wasting my life and do something meaningful"" Dad jokes, am I right?"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? Aargh you think it would be but it's the sea"

"1. Loan someone a pocket knife. 2. Take it back by wrapping it in a rag. 3. Explain you need a knife with someone else's prints on it."

"I was born in the USA... ..some parts imported from China, though."

"I once knew a brother so smooth he wore a bluetooth in each ear and held the exact same conversation with 2 separate women at the same time"

"HEY PIGS STOP TRYING TO SWALLOW ENTIRE APPLES YOU KEEP DYING"