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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!"

Next Joke
 
"My Father always said ""You should fight fire with fire"" He didn't last long as a fireman."
"I learned a lot of Mandarin in just one semester! Though I could have sworn the syllabus said ""Calculus 2""."
"I don't see why people are outraged when Donald Trump says if Ivanka wasn't his daughter, he'd be dating her. After all, if Ivanka wasn't Trump's daughter, I'd date her too."
"COP: Do you realize you were speeding back there? ME: Can you be sure it wasn't just the planet slowing down? COP: I'm listening"
"Politicians should be limited to two terms... One in office and one in prison. [Credit](http://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/2jxula/alabama_state_house_speaker_indicted_on/clg2hjl)"
"Chemists do tell jokes, but there's no reaction because all their people skills Argon. Omg, that's Sodium funny, right? Na? Okay."
"I Like my slaves how i like my coffee............ Free"
"How many mottophobics does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Who do you think broke the filament in the first place?"
"What's the difference between a vacuum and a Harley Davidson? The position of the dirtbag"