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Joke of the Day

"Two electrons walk into a bar and... The Big Bang Theory is the worst. I would sooner stab my eyeballs with a pen than watch it"

"What's better than kiddie porno? Adult porno. Kiddie porn is gross, you sick fuck!"

"My girlfriend told me to stop pretending to be a flamingo I had to put my foot down"

"When I worked for the USPS a number of years ago I found the work to be slightly monotonous. It really helped me work on my delivery though."

"How does NASA organize a party? They planet."

"My friend is a telemarketer. Sometimes, when he's relaxing, I'll call him out of the blue and piss him off."

"Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says ""welcome""..."

"""Feeling sad? We can help make it worse"" - online dating"

"Pooping is just like Game of Thrones. You either win or you die."

"My girlfriend has a pet and I had a pet chicken. Her donkey ate my chicken. Now, I have my cock inside her ass this whole time."