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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend has a pet and I had a pet chicken. Her donkey ate my chicken. Now, I have my cock inside her ass this whole time."

"For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction."

"""you okay man?"" listen dude... i know what im doing *lights a cigarette backwards* ive seen Guy Code like six times"

"What do you call a black man on the ISS? An astronaut."

"Students are taking a sign language course. The teacher doesn't recognize one of them, and says ""Are you in this class?"" Student says, ""I'm auditing."" Teacher says, ""Then you're in the wrong class."""

"Why does pasta always have to pay so much for car insurance? Because it can't drive a car without making it all denty."

"What's the difference between the 9/11 attack and a dairy cow? You stop milking the cow after ten years."

"If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear it... then what was a tree doing in the kitchen?"

"My butcher's assistant is a little person. I tried to bet him he couldn't sell me one of his top-shelf filets. ""No bet,"" he said. ""The steaks are too high."""

"We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here, says the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar."