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Joke of the Day

"When I worked for the USPS a number of years ago I found the work to be slightly monotonous. It really helped me work on my delivery though."

"Wanna impress me iTunes? Let me download a motherfucking pizza."

"I keep a banana in my bathroom It's for scale."

"Why are peppers irritating? Because they're jalapeno business!"

"No matter how white-hot my rage feels, I have been unable to clear the snow off my driveway by giving it the finger."

"Policeman: Why were you speeding? Motorist: I was trying to get away from the crime scene."

"Knock Knock Go fuck yourselves."

"A blonde walks into a bar holding a piece of shit and says ""look what I almost stepped in!"""

"What happens to the chicken who decided to cross the highway Chicken decided to cross the highway for excitement It was fun in the beginning but eventually it got **tired**"

"Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny."