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Joke of the Day

"I only remember the punchline: ""Follow the yellow-dicked toad!"" Anyone know the joke?"

"The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location."

"I like my coffee like I like my wives, From a third world country at a reasonable price."

"Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty."

"*takes earrings out* *takes bracelet off* *slips out of shoes* *tears off jeans, shirt, bra* *shaves head* Ok Doc you can weigh me now"

"I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over."

"What's the worst part about seeing 4 black people go off a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac seats 5."

"Depression isn't officially on the menu at Taco Bell, but it comes with every meal Truth"

"Dear Facebook friend that posts inspirational quotes, your inspirational quotes have inspired me to unfriend you"

"On your resume under skills it says pickpocket? Is that right? (interviewer looks up) (he is wearing only underwear and I'm gone)"