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Joke of the Day

"On your resume under skills it says pickpocket? Is that right? (interviewer looks up) (he is wearing only underwear and I'm gone)"

"Everybody is somebody else's weirdo."

"Frankly auto correct, I'm getting really tired of your shirt."

"what's the difference between two dicks and a joke you don't look like you could take a joke"

"Just waiting to hear those three special words... ""there's no evidence."""

"A Priest, a Homosexual, and a Pedophile walk into a bar... And he orders a beer."

"How to legalize animal poaching ? Drop a kid in their zoo enclosure."

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a stick? I don't have a stick up my ass!"

"Ghana has eliminated the U.S. from last two World Cups... They're probably Ghana do it again."

"Why is Trump so keen to build a wall to keep out Mexican rapists? He's afraid of the competition."