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Joke of the Day

"Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet? The one with the biggest head."

"How do you pump up a room full of shy introverts? ""LETS GET READY TO MUMBLE!!!"""

"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."

"What's Jared from Subway's favorite chord? A flat minor"

"It is NOT acceptable to lift up the back of a woman's shirt to look at her lower back tattoo, even if you're at Walmart... I know that now"

"Wow I can't believe I stopped a girl from being raped tonight... I got exhausted and stopped chasing her."

"Instagram's down? What am I supposed to with my food, eat it?"

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair"

"Superpoer Friend: If you could only own one super power what would it be? Me: USSR"

"Whats Fred Flintstones favorite drug? Crack Rock."