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Joke of the Day
"What's Jared from Subway's favorite chord? A flat minor"
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"What do you call a boat that gives fresh breath? A Shipmint!"
"If honey is supposed to be so great for your voice, why does it sound like Winnie the Pooh has been shotgunning bleach?"
"What's a dish best served cold? Air condish."
"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says ""why the long face?"" The horse sues him for discrimination and wins $4.3 million and the bar."
"Why is there a flap on the back of the Navy uniform? So the Marine have something to hold on to."
"Someone just honked to get me to get out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead"
"Pro Tip: Use candles to set a romantic mood. Pro Tip Addendum: don't set the romantic mood right by curtains."
"I ""Liked"" your comment on my status update because I'm too lazy to respond."
"If you are getting a prostate exam... You're getting ANALysed!!!"