10211

Joke of the Day

"Anytime I see a tweet in a different language, I read it as ""Oo ee Oo ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang."""

"Fortune Cookie: YOU JUST BROKE MY HOUSE IN HALF AND NOW YOU'RE READING MY JOURNAL"

"""Why does that guy always get all the women?"" ""I don't know...he isn't very handsome or rich"" ""And he's a terrible conversationalist - all he does is sit there licking his eyebrows"""

"So, tell me. Why do Russians go crazy over pho? Because... they are so viet *ba dum tss*"

"How are socks like Boy Scouts? They always come pre-paired."

"(original) What hit song did Phil Collins write the after a big dinner at an Indian restaurant? I can feel it coming In The Air Tonight, Oh Lord!"

"Went to type in build a bear and accidentally googled build a bar. Better idea, I know"

"What goes up and down but does not move? Stairs"

"What's the difference between a jew and pork ? Cooking time."

"Me*suspicious the neighbor is a cannibal*:""Do U find this is a tough neighborhood? Neighbor:""Na, u just use a slow cooker. Me:""What? n:""What"