42123
Joke of the Day
"Listening to dubstep. Wait nope just my cat tumbling in the dryer."
Next Joke
"What did the lieutenant vulture say to the enlisted vultures who stopped eating a dead cow to salute? Carrion."
"Why can't mimes finish marathons? Because they can't get past ""the wall""."
"I haven't talked to a single member of my family since the great monopoly battle of '06. So yea, I know a thing or 2 about holding a grudge."
"It's not about the sacrifices you have to make, it's about making sure your knife is sharp and they can't wiggle away."
"How do you know if a girl is on her period? Shut up!"
"I eat so much bacon my friends gave me a nickname... Kermit the frog."
"A new yoga student after his first class approached his attractive female instructor and said ""I heard you're into fitness..."" How about fitness dick in your mouth!?"
"What do you call nuts on your wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin? Dick in your mouth."
"Just slammed 12 wheatgrass shots now everyone at Whole Foods is trying to take my keys"