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Joke of the Day

"It's not about the sacrifices you have to make, it's about making sure your knife is sharp and they can't wiggle away."

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"What do you call racist jokes that are made about black people? Dark humor"
"What are eukaryotes' least favorite subject in school? Algaebra..."
"Don't spend too much on toilet paper It's all for shit, anyway."
"Spidy nonsense Sometimes I feel like spider man. Once I had Gwen Stacy, now I just have Mary Jane."
"Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!"
"Ben Affleck being Batman won't ruin Batman v. Superman. (It'll be Zack Synder's fault.)"
"Why was Leia disappointed on her wedding night? Han shot first."
"Philip Seymour Hoffman use to be my favorite actor... But now he's dead to me."
"Einstein made a theory about space ...And it was about time too."