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Joke of the Day

"What did the lieutenant vulture say to the enlisted vultures who stopped eating a dead cow to salute? Carrion."

"Me: Your generation sits around with their noses in their phones Niece: Your generation made the guys who wrote the Macarena rich Me: ..."

"People who lick their fingers then page through the papers on the printer Just throw it out. I'll print it again."

"What car does the Loch Ness Monster drive? A Ford F-tree-fiddy"

"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it will be a foot!"

"Why can't an Asian couple have a white child? Because two Wongs don't make a white."

"""You a cop?"" UNDERCOVER COP: No. ""So you wouldn't mind if I ... threw these donuts away?"" UC: *sweats profusely*"

"Q: What kind of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? A: Iceberg."

"Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was ""adkwodrtrgfvnfif"""

"Why did the prison board decide to build the new prison out of concrete? The old one was made of steal."