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Joke of the Day

"God must love stupid people. He made SO many."

"S.I.N.G.L.E...sexy! innocent! naughty! gorgeous! lustful! exciting!"

"How does Hitler make his coffee? He jews it."

"I've been taking my Flintstones' vitamins daily, but I still can't start a car with my feet."

"What's the best thing about having sexy with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of 'em. edit: autocorrect is a bitch - we all know what it should say."

"Just found a scary-looking Pokemon on my living room sofa. But then I realised it was my mother-in-law."

"It's eating disorder awareness week and they're selling t shirts for charity They only carry x-smalls."

"I'd be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive."

"SATURDAY TIP: simply because mother has fallen asleep that's no reason to stop the footrub"

"I never feel as much panic as I do when the cashier asks me if I have their member card yet."