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Joke of the Day
"I'd be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive."
Next Joke
"I'm going to have a kid and name him Mark... ...so I can make my Mark in the world."
"Why did they spray rose water cologne on Scott Weiland at the funeral home? So he smelled great while dead & bloated."
"Who the hell is this Rorschach guy? And why does he keep drawing pictures of my parents fighting?"
"A magician walks down the street... and turns into a pub"
"*Shakespeare resetting his password* ""Enter new password."" Fortnight ""Your password is two weeks."""
"'You're beautiful and I love you,"" I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied ""I just want to be friends."""
"The Bible TL;DR"
"What do you call 6.63*10^-34 mutinied pirates? Planck walkers"
"Christmas lights remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright."