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Joke of the Day

"How do you know if a homeless man has a girlfriend? He has two clean fingers."

"Yo mamma so stupid when she heard of ""orange is the new black"" she thought Donald Trump became the president."

"The best pirate joke(in your best pirate voice): What is a pirates favorite letter? Every body says its the ""R"" but it is actually the ""C."""

"""Rolls Royce"" is my favorite car that sounds like an Australian describing a sushi chef"

"How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp? Give him sheet music."

"Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my girl's hair. Its a nice way to let her know I love her and also that were out of napkins"

"What is Jasmine Tridevil's (girl with 3 boobs), favorite type of cake? Tres Leches!"

"I fan speak a little French I'd like to bon appetit (bone a petite) Edit: can not fan"

"Why doesn't Jesus eat M&M's? Because of the holes in his hands."

"[driving 2 school] *looks back,sees toothbrushes in child carseats WAIT! IF YOU'RE HERE THEN... [cut to kids at home, covered in toothpaste]"