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Joke of the Day

"The best pirate joke(in your best pirate voice): What is a pirates favorite letter? Every body says its the ""R"" but it is actually the ""C."""

"Why do teenage girls hangout in odd-sized groups at Starbucks? Because they can't even."

"Learned from my 2yr old tonight that Jesus doesn't like bananas. No word on cauliflower yet but pretty sure he's not a fan."

"-You think I'd make a bad Private Eye 'cause I can't read body language? I will prove you wrong! -Sir, you're talking to the murder victim"

"Is my iPhone named Freedom? Yes Do I never pick up phone calls on it? Also yes, because as an American, I let freedom ring"

"If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherfucker a reason."

"How do you explain a man birthing a baby? Taco bell for lunch"

"where do you take a sick horse? The horspital"

"I don't care which way you swing, guy wearing a Tapout t-shirt & Capri pants, but you've GOT to make a choice."

"Why did the cannibal get food poisoning in India? He ate Rameet!"