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Joke of the Day

"As a literalist, I can't watch porno... There's too many holes in the plot. I thought of this while reading a reddit comment section, so thank you reddit :)"

Next Joke
 
"A man walks into a fancy dress party carrying a woman on his back... The host asks the man why this is so. ""Oh, I'm a tortoise and this is Michelle"" says the man."
"if someone wakes up from a twenty year coma, i hope the first thing they see when they turn on a TV is mike tyson petting his pigeons."
"What is the last thing you eat before you die? You bite the dust."
"Sorry I picked up your pug and ran him in for a touchdown."
"Why did the cowboy buy a Dachshund To get a long little doggy"
"Do you like yogurt? I bet I like it more than you. I'd put money on it. I'll come to your fucking house."
"I told my friend that I'm getting a divorce. ""What about the kids?"" he asked. I said, ""they're still together."""
"Who's Bill Cosby's favourite Disney princess? Sleeping Beauty"
"I found The Theory Of Everything It was in the blu-ray box at Walmart."