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Joke of the Day
"Leaving your cell phone unlocked near your girlfriend is like leaving a cake near a fat kid"
Next Joke
"As a German, you know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. My engineering is perfect."
"A surprise party on someone's birthday isn't surprising. A better time would be 3-4 months after their birthday, in the middle of the night."
"What do you call an easy lifestyle revolving around eating Chinese food? Lo Meintenance"
"It's amazing how alcohol can make you do so many stupid things on your smart phone."
"Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman."
"whats the most popular drink at a nude beach? Sunny D"
"Some people tell me I have a superiority complex. But it's actually pretty simple. They're just too dumb to comprehend it."
"[reading test results] ""It looks like you're gonna be just fine"" [nurse whispers in ear] ""Lol my bad u got like 6 weeks"" -Steve Harvey M.D."
"Some cats just sit there looking at you like you owe them money."